3 Habits men should take when approaching women
It’s best to mindful when it comes to your success rate with women. In this modern age, most men dwell on the ratio of how many women they dated, eventually developing a “numbers game” concept in their brain.
For those who aren’t familiar with the “numbers game” concept, it’s when a man compare the number of females he approached, and compare it to number of women who rejected him. If his success rate is high, he feels a sense of achievement; however if his success rate is low, he ends up with self-esteem.
Nobody likes to be rejected, whether you’re a male or female because it goes into the sense of feeling rejected from civilization. We question our values in society and if we’re compatible to be with someone. What men usually think about before they approach a woman is what they’re going to say, how to take her from one place to another, and how to make the first move.
Some men think if they put their heart on a platter when they approach a woman, everything will turn out good. Some think if they act rude and violent, it will cause women to flock towards them.
Every man has their own different mind scope when it comes to approaching women depending on their past success rates. But when their method doesn’t work out the way they imagined, they end up walking away bitterly towards the world. They lose hope and value in themselves. So what I want to do is discuss 3 ways to get past rejection when you approach women.
1. Force it
Don’t harass the woman, but rather yourself. Escape that comfort zone you set for yourself in as you approach women. There shouldn’t be a single girl in the world you should question yourself about as you approach her. Unless she has a weapon or a very mad look over her face, you shouldn’t worry if she’s going to harm you.
What most guys experience when they’re out with their friends is the one thing they all fear most.
And it makes sense. Who wants to be rejected? It’s like an upfront, “you’re worthless and nobody wants you,” type of ordeal. So they plan out the situation before talking to the girl. They make preparations and strategies as if they’re about to complete a top secret mission in North Korea.
What you have to do is force yourself into the situation. Force yourself into a mindset that you don’t have to please anyone for good emotions. You should only amuse yourself. Talk to a girl about things you like. If you have hobbies the girl wouldn’t be interested in such as Magic: The Gathering, tell her that you’re interested in it and say it with a passion. That’s the key word. PASSION.
Passion has an energy that convinces others to believe in what you do. It’s an emotion people love to see in others because it’s the ability to hold positive emotions towards something. Share your passion with her and feed her the positive emotions she desire.
Don’t continue speaking to her about your own interests if she doesn’t remain enthuse as the conversation continues. Treat passion like a candy and never overfeed her with only your interests. Force the good emotions out of you and bring forth a playful attitude a woman will want to be part of.
As a man, learn to carry a sense of entitlement and excitement. You want to have a vibe others would want to be part of and by exhibiting this type of energy, you’ll see others flocking towards you. Be true to anything you do. If you approach a girl, APPROACH A GIRL.
Don’t take half a step towards her, look away, then take another step towards her as if she’s about to explode any second. Go BAM, “I’m here and I want to talk to you.” Don’t approach her with a light voice. Bring excitement. Not crazy. But fun. As if you found out you won the lottery and want to tell someone about it.
You’re not going to have chemistry with every girl you approach. You’re going to meet women who have different interests, vibes, and mood sets. But it’s fine because you don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t have a good chemistry with you.
And by chemistry, I don’t mean having the same interests and hobbies. I’m talking about someone you relate to. How you connect and understand her as she understands you. That’s what makes a relationship work. If you don’t go off of chemistry, it’ll only be off lust and that only lasts for so long.
You have be willing to push yourself. You’re going to have stop accepting any excuse such as, “she’s with her friends,” or “she’s talking on her phone.”
Sometimes, you have to push yourself and give her the energy that allows her to connect with you.
2. Learn to live in the moment
Men tend to over think situations based on what to say when approaching women. They debate what topics to discuss, when they need to say it, and what kind of reaction to expect. When the plan doesn’t go as expected, they panic inside their head, feeling like it’s going to explode. They then end up with a dozen excuses as to why they shouldn’t talk to her even before making eye contact.
When you approach a woman, don’t plan on what to say. This isn’t online dating. She isn’t going to ignore your presence. She’s going to see you what you got to offer. And I’m not saying to place her on a pedestal.
NEVER DO THAT.
Challenge yourself by talking to her about the first thing that pops into your head. (Heck, say pineapple out loud to yourself and she’ll ask you why you say that.)
For example, I once walked by a woman who was sitting down eating a bag of chips and without thought, approached her staring down at it and then to her. She noticed me and didn’t say anything. It was until I said something about me not eating that brand of chips for months and then she offered me some. From there, we pushed into a conversation and went on from there.
If you find yourself thinking about the future as you’re speaking to her, talk about what’s nearby. Talk about what literally pops into your mind as if you were talking with your friends or family. When you talk to family, you don’t give yourself a full debate on what to say, what they’re going to say, or how they’re going to react.
Just say whatever is on your mind. And like that situation, put your mind in a mental state where you can tell a woman your true opinions about a situation.
Tell her what ticks you off and say it honestly. Don’t say something because you know it’ll please her. Say it because it pleases you. Because if you rely on her emotions and reactions to reflect your emotions, she’s going to sense you sucking her energy and slowly pull away from you.
Challenge yourself by becoming stronger and allowing her to suck your positive energy rather than sucking hers. If you continue thinking about the future, you will never have time to reflect on the present.
Become a master of living in the moment and love the process of doing whatever pleases you that moment.
Don’t harass her by any means. If you sense her about to cry rape or pull out paper spray, you’ll know you’re in a zone you shouldn’t be in. In reality, it’s not weird to just kiss a girl in the middle of a sentence. In reality, it’s not weird to grab a girl’s hand when you approach her and say hi.
You have to carry yourself in a way that doesn’t make you out to be a creep. Transition her emotions so it matches yours and be a person she could connect with.
3. Don’t take everything she says so seriously
Men think what they say truly matters to a woman. They stress over the conversation and what’s being said. When you’re speaking to a woman, you’ll notice signs of her feeling uncomfortable.
You’re going to notice her attitude turning south and that she isn’t happy. But what they fail to realize is that most women operate in way known as “temporary truths.” It’s basically a concept that originates from living in the moment, except it relates to their emotions.
One minute, she could want to kiss you, and the next she might want to slap you. It’s a complex matter you’re forced to deal with. Unlike men, women are more in touched with their emotions, and tuned in to what they’re feeling.
This topic is a combination of the first two mentioned above, except it’s towards a standard of understanding a woman’s point of view. Often, it doesn’t matter what you say. It just matters how you say it and go about it.
There will be times where women will test you by giving you a “shit test.” This is basically when she makes a mockery of whatever you say and make fun of you. Rather than turning defensive, turn the table around by embracing that truth even if it isn’t true.
Respond back to her with a powerful vibe that shows her words don’t scare you, and you know who you are.
If you approach a woman taller than you and she makes fun of you because of it, respond with something like, “Yeah I’m short, have you seen my lucky charms?” Or “and you’re like an Amazon woman. If we teamed up as superheroes, you’ll have to help me climb the buildings.” Or, “Yeah, I’m looking for a baby stool, have you seen one around?”
You want to turn a situation that could have been bad and twist it into a fun house for her to explore. She’s going to see that she doesn’t intimidate you and that you’re comfortable with yourself.
There’s an expression that goes by “confidence is key.”
And Yes, I will admit that in the end, you have to be comfortable with yourself and accept your flaws. You’re not going to get every girl you approach. That’s a fact.
Be aware that you don’t want to pull every girl you approach. You want to find someone who matches your chemistry and vibe. Someone you could relate with.
You like candy, but you don’t like every kind of candy. You prefer certain kinds and at times, you might be willing to try a few new ones. But in the end, you know what makes you happy.