What is neglect in a relationship? Back in the first dorm I lived in, there was a couple in the building who would fight continuously day and night. As I laid silently in my room, I would hear them from the other room screaming about what was the point of the relationship, did either of them matter, and other things you’d expect a teenager to say during the pinnacle of their hormone years.
Whenever I hid in the lounge area, the girlfriend would somehow show up there too to cry and rant about how she hated her relationship because she didn’t know if her boyfriend loved her. Back then I was just a horny teenager who wanted to date her because she was attractive, so most of my advice revolved her dumping the guy. Of course it never worked and she would return back to her boyfriend only to get into another big argument the next night and repeat the same process of ranting about him to me.
Although I didn’t like being on the receiving end of a girl ranting to me about her boyfriend, it did open my eyes to the type of relationship I never wanted to be in. Some conflicts are inevitable in a relationship and could either make or break it. Although there are other major issues that brings conflict into a relationship (i.e..jealousy or verbal abuse), what really gets ignored until it’s too late is neglect.
As humans, we can be self-adsorbed pricks who forget what our significant other want. We can accidentally not see the signs of depression that someone may be experiencing because we’re debating on what to eat. We can ignore someone dreams because we’re too focused on what they should buy us for our birthday. Reasons like this is probably why aliens still refuse to visit us.
But what was really interesting to discover was that neglecting our spouse, family, or anyone we care about doesn’t just hurt them, but ourselves too. When you neglect anyone, it sends them a negative message that you either take them for granted or you don’t appreciate them. This leads to more fights, arguments, and barriers that make the relationship less desirable.
It’s why it’s crucial to give your children the type of attention they need for a healthy mentality. It’s why you need to show signs of true affections to someone you’re dating like buying them a small piece of candy they love for no reason or listening to them.
Starting from a young age, children need a huge amount of time and attention, or else they start feeling their self-worth plummeting. Which leads to a low self-esteem mentality when they grow up that affects their love life, career, and lifestyle.
What is Neglect in a Relationship
What normally happens to couples who deal with neglectfulness in a relationship is when someone’s career becomes their primary focus. I’ve been in this scenario several times and know people who made the same mistake. Even Elon Musk had damaged a few relationships because he’s constantly building some of the biggest businesses in the world.
When the average couple starts a relationship, they spend most of their time together while going through their daily routines. They eat together, work out together, watch movies, and visit local places. And it’s really exciting to start a relationship because you’re doing the things you like with someone else.
However, once the relationship is established, it’s possible for one of the partners to feel like the relationship is in a safe zone and therefore shift their focus to other areas such as their career.
I used to think that it was important to only work on your career once you had a stable relationship. But what you come to understand is that your relationship eventually starts loosening up. The more time you spend on your career or other hobbies, the more your partner starts to feel like it’s a competition between them and your interests.
This competing factor worsens when either partner deals with frustration, depression, and disappointment and need to talk to someone. However, if you rarely give your partner the quality time they need for emotional support, it damages the relationship and sends it to a dangerous place.
How I can fix this problem?
In this modern age, it’s common for couples to both have good paying jobs while raising children and spending quality time with each other. I learned that a crucial balance of time was required on both parties to make it possible.
To prevent a relationship from being a one-sided emotional support system, become conscious of your behavior and learn to cut time away from work or other interests. Our careers are important to maintain and build, but it will feel empty if you pushed everyone close to you out of your life.
Me and my Ashley had to learn how to spend time working on our careers while using our remaining time with each other and personal goals. A usual schedule that normally worked was spending the day working on our career while spending quality time together at night.
On weekends, the mornings were spent allocating our goals as our afternoons and nights consisted of participating in fun activities. It can be difficult stepping away from your passions and goals because it feels like you’re placing your dreams on-hold.
However, this builds a healthy mindset because not only are you building your dreams, but your communication and relationship too. A quote that stood out to me was spoken by William Paisley, who said,
“Communication is the Fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.”
This type of relationship doesn’t work if you both go with the flow by taking chances. When both partners have a strong desire to reach their goals, they have to learn how to prioritize their assignments and devote their time and effort to making it work.
Romance relationships will always be harder to maintain than friendships because it requires an equal level of devotion to make it flow properly. Otherwise, one partner will always feel less valued and appreciated, causing the relationship to approach an unhealthy level.
So the next time you encounter a situation of questioning the neglectfulness of your relationship, simply learn the process of making time for each other whether you want to or not.
The question, “What is neglect in a relationship,” may not be the only concern in your mind. If you’d like to understand what kind of love relationship you have with your partner, you’ll discover a few ideas that will give you the answer you’ve been searching for.
If you’re struggling to determine if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, we have insightful tips to help you with that as well.
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