5 Truths We Must Accept To Have A Lifestyle Of Happiness
I think it’s safe for me to say happiness is something we all want. The only problem is that a majority of us wouldn’t even know where to find it. You don’t want happiness by simply ignoring every problem that come into your life. That’ll only give you bigger problems in the future. You want happiness as a means of truly expressing your inner emotions.
Although people are attracted to those who are rich or attractive, a third quality that makes people addictive is the ability to share their happiness with them.
Behind all the money, fame, and desire, the root to why everyone wants those goals is to achieve some level of happiness. When you’re single, you begin to see having a relationship as the ultimate form of happiness because you see happy people in them.
However, after you have a relationship and you’re still sad, you’ll suddenly see happy because who are single and want that lifestyle. It’s an evil loop that many of us, including myself, have performed multiple times.
Which is why it’s addicting for people to use temporarily channels to happiness such as drugs, alcohol, and mindless sex to erase their pain and discomfort. And it’s not like there’s an official manual that tells you what true happiness is because it’s a little different for everyone.
What makes Bob happy might make Julie suffer. Bob’s ideal day could be spending it fishing in the middle of the lake, as Julie can be shopping at the mall with her friends. The only reason we tell ourselves we need $1 million in order to be happy is because we’ve been taught our entire life that is when people finally find happy.
“Why be poor or make a decent income when you can easily become rich and glorious? It’s super easy to get rich, all you have to do is believe in yourself.” When you hear these types of things your entire life and you don’t achieve them, you question if you’re really happy making $40,000 a year. You wonder if more money could give you the ultimate form of happiness you see celebrities with.
I remember reading about the gold rush when I was in high school where thousands of people would travel across the country to find some hidden gold. Hundreds of people would die in the conquest of searching for their own little pot of gold.
Contrary to what you may have believed, happiness doesn’t occur if you’re given something you want. It only works when you balance your needs and wants. You could win $1 million today, but that won’t make you happy unless you give yourself that permission.
The way you see life, your experiences, and your emotions are what dictates whether you feel positive or negative. If you think of example such as failure, your first response will be negative and disappointment. But you have the choice to either see yourself as a failure for what you did or a new learning experience in your life.
Until you defeat your inner negative monologues, it’ll be impossible to find a content form of happiness. You have to understand your emotions and what your intuitions tell you. So to start a lifestyle of happiness:
1. Overcome your Pride
Pride restrains you from finding true happiness because it blinds you of your own flaws. Rather than accept your own faults, you blame other people or things for your downfall. Some things might be the cause for your suffering, but to continue blaming the world for your situation is a losing battle.
To continuously look for sympathy and compassion for your failures will only set you for disappointment. Which is why it’s important to stop blaming the world for anything bad that happens to you, and take some personal responsibility.
Don’t hate the world or a certain group of people because of what one person did to you. Thousands of men and women hate the opposite sex because of what happened to them from a previous relationship. And as tempting as it is to blame other people for your failures or mistakes, it’s partially your fault in one way or another.
That wasn’t too harsh, right? Most relationship never ends because it was someone’s fault 100%. Maybe your partner no longer felt emotionally connected to you because you weren’t giving him or her the same attention they received in the beginning of the relationship. Or maybe it was your hateful pride that made you push them away emotionally and physically.
Maybe your coworker worked harder than you to receive the promotion you wanted. Instead of holding resentment and jealousy towards him, admit to your mistakes and thrive to make yourself better. The more you pay attention to other people successes, the more it distracts you from your own personal goals.
Even if your partner is lowering your self-esteem, you have to know that it was partially your fault for it happening too. When you’re in a relationship, you should notice the small red flags that warn you whether or not to immediately depart from that relationship.
If you see situations where your girlfriend is screaming at some innocent victim, don’t raise an eyebrow when she does the same to you. If your boyfriend has a habit of flirting with other girls, don’t be surprised to find him in bed with one of them.
Oftentimes, we ignore those small red flags and continue on with the relationship until our partner did something to destroy that trust. Every relationship you have won’t be perfect, and will require some tune ups, but it’s up to you to determine if you should remain with your partner based on those early warning signs. From there, you should already expect the worse from them and mentally prepare for it.
I was once friends with a few people who were really kind, however after having a few drinks with them, they turned into monsters. At first I took it as a bad night, but overtime I noticed the same repeated attitude after they became drunk.
Before things took a nasty turn, I decided to cut them off. Whenever you pick up on those red flags from the person you’re spending time with, don’t be afraid to separate yourself from them.
2. Don’t use kindness as a weapon
People can already tell the difference between someone who does a favor for them out of kindness and someone who expects something in return. When you’re alone, it’s easy to become unhappy because you forget the importance of human communication.
This turns people into insecure predators who spend their time trying to please other people and tending to everyone needs except their own.
Insecure people neglect their own feelings and desires in exchange for another person who asked them to do something. And as ironic as this is, they rarely find that special person who wants to be with them.
These types of insecure people are seen as those who only do favors in exchanged for something in return. Without it, they’ll drop you faster than you can blink.
The most common reason people become people pleasers is because all they want is a friend. But a horrible backlash that usually occurs is that when you’re overly nice to someone, they suspect you’re just an insecure person who’s selfish and greedy.
That’s why when you do decide to help someone with a favor, make sure it’s on your own terms without any expectations in return.
Don’t show your neediness after doing someone a favor as if you’re a dog waiting for a treat. Do the deed and go your own way. That person will remember what you did for them, and will place you in a special place in their mind. All you have to do is be yourself and do what you think is fair and right.
3. Releasing your anger
Despite what Star Wars says, embracing your anger won’t make you stronger (at least not in the right way.) When you’re constantly accused of being depressed, lied to and abused either verbally or physically, it’s natural to get angry.
But allow your anger to dissolve rather than let it consume your soul. Those who allow their anger to embrace them have no way of receiving true happiness and reaching their full potential.
If you continuously shove yourself towards the dark side of your emotions, it eventually starts reflecting on you and others. You start hating yourself more and more, shoving other people out of your life or treating them like trash.
It’s why bullies and “trolls” exist across the internet. It’s why people become abusive in relationships and develop anger issues. If left unattended or shoved to the corner of your mind, a big source of anger will slam at you like a piano, and crush your spirit.
4. Never confuse counterfeit happiness with real happiness
We mistake happiness for something else all the time through many fake shapes and forms. Examples would be meaningless sex, getting drunk, doing drugs, or binge watching Netflix all day. But you have to distinguish the difference between being content and fulfilling your deep desires.
Mindless activities that separate you from reality will satisfy your temporarily desires, but not your self-development ones. Playing video games or eating unhealthy will make you feel good in the moment, but it does lower your productivity in the long run.
Think of eating healthy and exercising as an investment you’re giving to your body. Activities such as those may be tiresome to complete, but they provide self-fulfilling victories that make you happy.
There’s nothing wrong with occasionally relying on mindless desires. In fact it can actually be beneficial because you need a form of stress release. But when you allow those mindless activities to be the center of your world, the reality of your unhapppiness will punch you in the face when you’re in total silence.
If you’d like more information on how to organize your life with a few effective apps, I recommend reading 7 Top Organizer Apps to Make Life Easier.
5. Become a master of Sarcasm
What make Comedians great people to be around is the ability to make fun of a negative experience we all deal with. People want to be around happy people who remain real about the world. They don’t want to spend their time with someone who could have originated from Sesame Street because they can’t find any true connections with them.
When you meet someone who doesn’t seem to have any life problems, they appear fake because everyone had to deal with some kind of personal issue in their life. They’re hard to relate to and you then become resentful for their life.
When you share your happiness with someone, what makes it great is when you combine a fun attitude with a negative experience. Don’t complain about how you had to wait in a long line at the DMV. Make a joke out of it by telling someone about the weird people you saw there. Don’t complain about how your job sucks. Share a witty story of the time you had with an irritating customer or boss.
You can express your hateful feelings about your job, but don’t let those negative emotions be the prime focus of someone’s mind. They’re already dealing with their own stress and don’t need any more of it. Just remember there’s a difference between witty sarcasm and being a jerk. Don’t be a jerk by saying mean things to people.