7 ways to get people to like you (and possibly addicted)
Everyone wants to be liked and adored. That’s why the majority of society wants to be famous or on television. It’s why they settle for dating someone who has the attention of millions.
Although money and power do come into play, one of the main attributes people want most is adornment. The more someone’s desired, the more self-value they assume they have in society. People need for desire resembles a gauge that indicates whether they’re either worthless or priceless. The more people who like them, the higher their gauge goes up, and vice versa.
Being a constant people pleaser won’t get someone to love you either because they’ll constantly be suspicious of your intentions. People usually don’t like suck ups and butt kissers because it shows you’re only using them to get something in return for their kindness.
It’s why women usually shy away from desperate guys who try to give them the world on just the first date. It’s not because they’re jerks who hate being treated nicely. It’s because they’re suspicious that those type of men treat every beautiful woman who speak to them the same way, and will eventually drop them the moment they find someone better.
As much as people enjoy being treated special, it won’t matter if they sense a high chance of disloyalty. Rather than focusing on ways you could please every person’s needs, focus on helping others while also helping yourself first. Don’t drop your priorities simply because someone asks you too. Stick to what you have to complete on your list so you’ll be mentally ready to help someone in need.
Part of the reason the art of natural attraction is a tricky game to play is because people aren’t built with manuals. If you want someone to value you like a grand prize, you’re going to have to provide positive emotions in return.
Don’t assume you need to buy someone a diamond ring, praise them 1000 times a day, or take them to France before they finally like you. All it takes is constantly making someone feel good about themselves in a genuine fashion. That means telling the other person they look nice in whatever they’re wearing. That means doing small, but meaningful favors for someone without them asking.
Humans may be complicated creatures, but everyone desire positive emotions. It’s why the search for happiness is usually the ultimate prize for people.
People take appreciation to those who make them smile, let them forget about their worries, show them a good time, and overall make them feel comfortable. They don’t want someone who blindly agrees with them on everything or goes their knees to clean their shoes. The most you’ll get out of a relationship like that is anticipation and suspicious motives.
But hey, I’m already aware everyone won’t understand the rules to this harsh game. If you want people to like you, let’s breakdown some information. So here are 8 ways to understand the ways to get people to like you. (I feel like I just twisted my tongue saying that.)
1. Don’t please everyone:
It’s easy to come off as a desperate person when trying to get everyone to like you. It’s like that one know-it-all kid in class who keeps raising his hand to everything the teacher says. (You know who I’m talking about. He’s the one who always reminded the teacher to give the class homework.)
It may sound logical that if you always please someone by doing whatever they wanted, they’ll be bound to like you. But that’s not possible, and that belief should be stomped on. (Like a Boss if I may add.)
But why isn’t it possible, you jerk?
Humans are jerks and by treating someone like they’re the center of the universe, they naturally conjure up ridiculous expectations from you. What originally came off as a kind gesture can easily become a weird expectation.
Take for example you decided to buy someone a cup of coffee every morning. At first it’ll start off as a kind gesture. That person will smile and be happy for your kindness. But lets say you kept buying coffee for them day after day, week after week.
You then begin to notice their appreciation for that cup of coffee dropping in value and before you know it, the day you decide not to buy them anything will result in a nasty attitude. That jerk is going to assume it was your sole job to buy them coffee, and they’re going to hate you for something you were never obligated to do. You’ll then become bitter and question your own value.
There’s nothing wrong with showing someone kindness or appreciation. But don’t overwhelm them with it, or else they’re going to assume they’re entitled to it. Make someone work for your kindness by occasionally treating someone with coffee but waiting until they do something of value for you in return.
And let’s not forget about the people pleasers who drop their own interest for someone else. Such as anyone else, you have unique features some people are going to love as others are going to hate. (It’s why you never see a YouTube video with all likes. There’s always a jerk who hits the dislike button.)
For instance, I love hip-hop and R&B music but not everyone I encounter will like the same thing. One of my closest friends is a fan of Country Music and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have friends who love Rock and even a friend who loves Reggie ( something I’ll never understand.) I’m not going to bash on their music (at least not that much), but I won’t pretend I enjoy listening to Bob Marley or ACDC.
Overall, keep true to yourself and do what you love. Sure, you’ll encounter moments where you’ll have to compromise with someone (Such as determining what to listen to while in the car.)
But don’t be afraid of telling someone you’re not interested in something because maintaining a healthy relationship means being honest with them. (It’ll be like a comic book nerd pretending to love sports while hanging out at a sports pub.)
Must Read: The Art of Owning Your Life like a Boss
2. Make yourself attractive:
There’s plenty of research that proves people are immediately drawn to beauty and appeal. You don’t have to look like Beyonce or Brad Pitt to make people like you (even though it wouldn’t hurt.) But take charge of the little chores to groom yourself everyday. This means brushing your teeth, eating healthy, flossing, exercising, and dressing appropriately.
Not only does this boosts your confidence, it improves your appearance to the outside world. People are friendlier towards those who keep a well-kept appearance rather than someone who doesn’t seem to care about life.
This is why Kings and Rulers usually wore expensive attire and kept high appearances while in public. You’re not going to find that many Hollywood actors or actresses purposely revealing themselves with flaws.
There’s nothing wrong with looking normal, however humans are naturally drawn to beauty and depth. Don’t put all your efforts into looking beautiful, but remember to take care of the basics that give you a decent public appeal.
3. Be picky on who you spend your time with:
Something I discovered recently was how easy it was to hang out with people. You see single people all the time hanging out at the mall, the club standing next to the wall, or the library pretending to read books.
What makes this luxury difficult is being aware that there’s a lot of snakes waiting to lure you into their nest.
Snakes? What’s that suppose to mean?
If you’re bored, you might come across a group of people who’s wasting their life away by doing nothing but smoking and drinking all day. Boredom and meeting the wrong type of people can get you involved in bad activities such as crime or situations you shouldn’t get yourself into.
But hey, I’m also aware of the random fun guy you occasionally meet at a party that seems to be filled with life. There’s no mistake in telling you that you will have a lot of fun moments as they drag you away from your responsibilities in exchange for doing something pleasurable.
And as fun as it might seem at first, it isn’t a healthy lifestyle to maintain the longer you spend time with those type of people. When you’re trying to brighten your future, sometimes the obstacles holding you back are your friends, family or lovers.
Maybe you have a boyfriend who doesn’t want you to work because he wants to only provide for you. Or maybe you want to start a business but someone in your family is always discouraging you. Toxic people only give you toxic thoughts, and the sooner you separate yourself from them the sooner you start a path that’s in your control.
4. Know how to disagree:
It’s impossible to agree with everyone you come across with. You have your own opinions and thoughts and should rightly defend them whenever someone threatens them. Don’t attack them with verbal assaults if you’re on a different stand of ideas, but don’t blindly agree with someone to avoid conflict. (An example is agreeing to marry someone to avoid that awkward no.)
Know why you’re disagreeing with someone because we sometimes like to disagree just to disagree. We’re naturally attracted arguments and proving we’re right to confirm our own intelligence. But the next time you’re about to Matlock someone, ask yourself, “Why am I about to disagree with this person? Is it to prove I’m right, or to teach them the correct way? Will this hurt the relationship or make it stronger?”
It takes actively listening to someone before telling them your immediate opinions. When you allow your feelings to take control of your behavior to prove someone wrong, it could damage the relationship.
5. Tell people what’s on your mind:
Don’t be afraid to tell someone what’s going on inside your head. It takes courage, but once you reveal your feelings or what you’re thinking, it releases a strange sense of freedom between you both.
People naturally trust those who tell them the truth, even if they don’t like it, rather than someone who holds their thoughts to themselves. Even if someone is kind to you, it’s hard to trust them because you don’t know what’s going on inside their head. They’ll be a complete mystery to you, and this builds your defense in case they turn out to be the next Walter White. (He isn’t really the best role model for those wondering.)
If you don’t give people an idea of who you are, they’re less likely to get closer to you. It’s only through the dismantle of telling someone your intimate secrets or ideas that’ll make them want to do the same for you. Without this type of communication with someone, they’ll only see the mask you put on for them.
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6. Make people feel desired:
To build a connection with someone, have them do something for you. (Sounds awesome, right?) Whether you have someone buy you a snack, a drink, borrowing their book, or throwing out your trash, a favor triggers a part of their brain that makes them feel desired. Even if you have a tension with someone, the natural act of asking them to do a favor for you changes their behavior.
The way our brain works is believing if we do something nice for someone else, even if we don’t like them, then that means we HAVE to like them. (Confusing?)
Despite your past relationship with someone, your brain likes to make sense of a situation and will automatically assume you suddenly like them when you’re buying them a meal. But let’s give you a fun dialogue that’s occurring in your subconscious when you’re buying something for Johnny.
Brain Conscious: “Why am I buying Johnny a burger. I hate Johnny.”
Brain Subconscious: “Uummm, no you don’t. Why else would you be buying Johnny a burger. You obviously like him a lot.”
Brain conscious: “Oh…I guess I do sort of like Johnny.”
This technique is known as the, “Foot in the door” tactic. This is where you mentally brainwash someone to like you by having them complete small requests for you. As the amount of requests build up, a bond is formed between you both. A friendship could eventually be born, or at the very least, a closer relationship. (I should really start asking my neighbors to mow my lawn.)
7. Tell people how you feel about them:
Things get complicated when you want to tell someone you like them, but are afraid of the consequences. You’re afraid that the other person will shun you out of their life or reject your feelings. But instead of playing “mind-reader,” show someone you actively like them.
One of the biggest complications on whether you like someone is knowing if they like you in return. This is the hardest battle for many potential relationships because people are more likely to not like someone they assume doesn’t like them. And if it wasn’t complicated already, this normally doesn’t work if you verbally tell someone you like them.
What the heck? I can’t tell someone I like them? Should I stalk them?
Stalking? Not yet. It’s through non-verbal cues such as touch, eye-contact, smiling, and limited mind-reading that makes it work. (Or you could tell your friend to tell your crush, who’s also their friend, that you like them. Relationships could be very complicated.)
People naturally raise their defense whenever they believe someone doesn’t like them, and this in return cause the other person to do the same. But hey, Studies have shown that men and women are more open to hooking up with someone who non-verbally display attraction. So like the saying goes, men are from Mars and women are from Forever 21.