12 Best Self Development Books For Relationships

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12 Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Searching for love, romance, or a relationship of any level can frustrate anyone. We make mistakes, learn the hard way on what NOT to do, and ponder on how we can change the past.

Although time travel doesn’t exist, or at least not to our knowledge, it is possible to determine what mistakes to avoid. Listed below are 12 of the best self development books for relationships that will save you the trouble of destroying any future relationships.

Whether you’re single, dating someone, or married, these books relate to everyone on a central platform. Enjoy!

 

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary D Chapman

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide.

Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

 

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, bestselling author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bitesized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word, helping you to:

Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want,

Create a life you totally love. And create it NOW, Make some damn money already. The kind you’ve never made before.

By the end of You Are a Badass, you’ll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass.

 

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

People are using this simple, powerful concept to focus on what matters most in their personal and work lives. Companies are helping their employees be more productive with study groups, training, and coaching.

Sales teams are boosting sales. Churches are conducting classes and recommending from the pulpit. By focusing their energy on one thing at a time people are living more rewarding lives by building their careers, strengthening their finances, losing weight and getting in shape, deepening their faith, and nurturing stronger marriages and personal relationships.

YOU WANT LESS. You want fewer distractions and less on your plate. The daily barrage of e-mails, texts, tweets, messages, and meetings distract you and stress you out. The simultaneous demands of work and family are taking a toll. And what’s the cost?

Second-rate work, missed deadlines, smaller paychecks, fewer promotions—and lots of stress. AND YOU WANT MORE. You want more productivity from your work. More income for a better lifestyle. You want more satisfaction from life, and more time for yourself, your family, and your friends.

NOW YOU CAN HAVE BOTH—LESS AND MORE. In The ONE Thing, you’ll learn to:

• achieve better results in less time

• build momentum toward your goal and dial down the stress

• overcome that overwhelmed feeling

revive your energy and stay on track

• master what matters to you 

 

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly.

Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Dr. Brené Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.”

Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive.

Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt.

But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

 

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Each day we face a barrage of images and messages from society and the media telling us who, what, and how we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only look perfect and lead perfect lives, we’d no longer feel inadequate.

So most of us perform, please, and perfect, all the while thinking,”What if I can’t keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn’t everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself?”

In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think,

“No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough,” and to go to bed at night thinking, “Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

 

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Dale Carnegie’s time-tested advice has carried millions upon millions of readers for more than seventy-five years up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.

Now the first and best book of its kind has been rebooted to tame the complexities of modern times and will teach you how to communicate with diplomacy and tact, capitalize on a solid network, make people like you, project your message widely and clearly, be a more effective leader, increase your ability to get things done, and optimize the power of digital tools.

Dale Carnegie’s commonsense approach to communicating has endured for a century, touching millions and millions of readers. The only diploma that hangs in Warren Buffett’s office is his certificate from Dale Carnegie Training. Lee Iacocca credits Carnegie for giving him the courage to speak in public.

We may communicate today with different tools and with greater speed, but Carnegie’s advice on how to communicate, lead, and work efficiently remains priceless across the ages.

 

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection.

This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood.

Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level.

He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita.

They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

 

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

In this classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication by acknowledging the differences between their needs, desires, and behaviors.

No other relationship guide on the market will give you the same level of evidence-based insight sure to help you strengthen and nurture your relationships for years to come.

 

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind?and Keep?Love by Amir Levine

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle?

According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding “yes.”

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

  • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back
  • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
  • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

 

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy Terrie Behary

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking?

These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life?

You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They’re frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.

Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist’s defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You’ll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it’s sad and lonely being a narcissist.

By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you’ll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you’ll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.

This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.

Finally, you’ll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it’s time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

 

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

Which sort of seducer could you be: Siren? Rake? Cold Coquette? Star? Comedian? Charismatic? or Saint?

This book will show you which. ‘Charm, persuasion, the ability to create illusions: these are some of the many dazzling gifts of the Seducer, the compelling figure who is able to manipulate, mislead and give pleasure all at once.

When raised to the level of art, seduction, an indirect and subtle form of power, has toppled empires, won elections and enslaved great minds. In this beautiful, sensually designed book, Greene unearths the two sides of seduction: the characters and the process.

Discover who you, or your pursuer, most resembles. Learn, too, the pitfalls of the anti-Seducer. In part II, immerse yourself in the twenty-four manoeuvres and strategies of the seductive process, the ritual by which a seducer gains mastery over their target.

Understand how to ‘Choose the Right Victim’, ‘Appear to Be an Object of Desire’ and ‘Confuse Desire and Reality’. In addition, Greene provides instruction on how to identify victims by type.

Each fascinating character and each cunning tactic demonstrates a fundamental truth about who we are, and the targets we’ve become – or hope to win over. The Art of Seduction is an indispensable primer on the essence of one of history’s greatest weapons and the ultimate power trip.

 

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes

Best Self Development Books For Relationships

In “How to Make Anyone Falling Love with You,”you’ll explore precisely what will make someone take the tumble–what types of initial eye contact, clothing, body language, first conversations, and first dates ignite the sensation of love.

You’ll learn when to play hard to get (and when not to), how long you should wait to ask him or her out, and how to make an unforgettable first impression.

In addition, the author will teach you how to discover and exude a sense of the deeper qualities the man or woman you have chosen longs for in a lifetime partner.

Finally, she demonstrates the subtle techniques for discovering ( and fulfilling) your partner’s sexual cravings.

 

For more posts like this, check out:

12 Helpful Self Development Books for Depression

25 Best Self Development Books to read in your 20s

13 Self Development Books That will Transform Your Life



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About Author

Besides being random and dealing with ADHD from time to time, Michael Gregory II is the CEO of the Self Development Workshop. He's traveled to over a dozen countries, counselled a variety of people, and continues furthering his knowledge in self-development, depression, and mastering your happiness. On his lazy days, he enjoy watching people, reading in Starbucks, and speaking to random strangers. (Yeah, he’s weird.)

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