25 Mind Tricks That Every Introvert Should Know To Make Life Easier
A few decades ago in Berlin while the wall was up, there was this smuggler who used to ride, every day, from east Berlin into West Berlin with a bag of sand on the back of his bicycle.
Every time, the checkpoint guards would cut open the bag of sand, search through it, find nothing, and let him go on his way. And every night he would return. They never realized that he was smuggling bicycles.
People tend to notice things they’re looking for and once they don’t find it, they ignore everything else. So if you want to slip something by someone, make sure they catch you on something that doesn’t matter, and they wont focus on what you’re hiding.
Like the Berlin Wall example, there’s a variety of life hacks and mind tricks that can make life easier for an introvert. So here’s 25 useful mind tricks that every introvert should know.
# 1 Get People To Say Yes Without Talking Too Much
There’s a concept known as the Yes-Ladder, which is used to get someone to agree with you on a variety of things. Ranging from marketing to even dating, you can use the Yes-Ladder in many situations.
The trick is to start with a question you know someone would say Yes to. Then you follow up with another question that you know would be difficult for them to say No to. Finally, you can ask them the final question you would like a Yes to.
Here’s an example in dating:
“Are you spontaneous?” Yes
“Are you an adventurous person?” Sure
“Have you ever done anything that was a little crazy?” Yeah!
“Have you ever made out with someone you just met?” I think so!
“Wouldn’t you regret it if you didn’t?” Probably…
“Do you have some free time during the week?” Yeah
“Wanna go grab a drink?” Sure!
And you got yourself a date
The reason this works so well is because your brain has an emotional feedback loop that prefers staying in the same emotional lane once it gets moving. It hates the idea of feeling different.
Whether it’s making the difficult choice of either remaining on the couch or moving to your desk to work, your brain likes to stay in one lane if it can. Once you get someone to agree with you several times in a row, you increase the chance to make them agree to what you’re finally offering to them.
The Ben Franklin effect is when you get someone to perform a favor for you, they’re more likely to do another favor for you than they would be if they had received a favor from you. Sounds confusing, right?
Whenever you help someone, you internalize the reason in our head for why you’re helping them. Obviously you wouldn’t just help anyone. Especially if they’re your enemy. So by asking someone to do a favor for you, you implant an idea in the back of their heads that you may not be a horrible person. (even if you are horrible)
There’s a reason why touching someone is a powerful technique. From the time we’re infants up until we’re old people, humans crave the feeling of human contact. It’s what makes us feel connected to someone outside our own little worlds.
Waiters who learn the art of unobtrusive touching are tipped more. People who touch their dates in the beginning of the night are more likely to end with a kiss or more by the end.
Every time we touch someone, we make them more comfortable towards us. You gain their trust and respect.
So the next time you’re talking to someone, lightly touch them on the arm, thigh, or knee to emphasize your points and to make them comfortable around you.
Always ask for a big favor first only to lower it to something smaller. People hate feeling guilty whenever they deny a request and if you show signs that you’re willing to lower your offer, they’ll be just as willing to agree to it.
For example, if you want $20 start out by asking for $100. When the other person refuses, ask them for $20 instead to “help you along”. As the other person still feel bad for declining your $100 offer, they’ll probably be more willing to lend you $20 because they feel it’s a more reasonable option to go with.
If you want someone to keep talking without having to think of a lot of questions and you want it to be natural for the other person, when they say something like, “I wish I had been at the football game this year.”
Just say, “Oh, football game…”
“Yeah, the last time I went to a football game was with my brother, now I don’t get to go to events like that very much.”
“You wanna go to one sometime together?”
“Yeah, sounds great.”
Use the last sentence or half phrase they just said and it will stimulate a stream of consciousness sharing which requires little effort on the speaker’s part and not much on yours either. It’s digging into the other person’s interest by repeating a few words they seem to admire.
For some people, they can talk about their favorite video games by simply saying a game console they mentioned earlier. For others, they can list twenty movies on the top of their head that they enjoyed as children.
This is a great for introverts to use when their energy is low or they don’t know what to say or don’t have anything to say.
Not to mention if you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, give them a few seconds. By remaining silent and keeping eye contact they will usually continue talking.
#6 Focus on the Process
It’s not difficult walking up a flight of stairs. You don’t really think too much about getting to the next floor. You just take one step at a time and deal with any problems along the way.
The same concept work for anything else in life.
The mind is a wonderful thing, instead of focusing on the end goal, focus on the steps you’ll need to take to reach it. Your mind will come up with amazing ideas to help you get there.
To achieve a goal, stop visualizing the end and start visualizing the processes to achieve that goal and the future beyond the goal. This will make people work harder than before.
# 7 Use silence to deal with anger
You’ll rarely get what you want if you respond to anger with anger. When someone shouts or loses their temper, don’t react the same way.
Instead, look at them with a blank stare and keep quiet. 99% of the time they’ll calm down because they’ll start to reflect on themselves and their own behavior.
This works extra well if you can stand behind a mirror as they’re angry too because after they see how they’re reacting towards you, they’ll find it embarrassing upon themselves.
Going out on a first date soon? Worried you won’t get a second one because you’re too boring or there just wasn’t enough chemistry.
Although coffee shops, movie theaters, and board games can be a good idea for a first date, what often work best is taking him or her to a thrilling place.
Those places are rollercoasters, skiing, and spontaneous travelling.
When you take someone on a date, he or she may not remember every detail of the time. What people will remember, however, is how they felt overall during the date.
And guess what? They’re likely going to associate you with that feeling, whether that happens subconsciously or not.
So for the love of your love life, don’t go somewhere boring or typical.
Make sure that you bring an exciting rush to his or her life. Because then they’ll go home and think, “Wow, my date made me feel great and different. I want another one!” And meanwhile, you’ll sit back in your couch with a nice drink and high-five yourself. Life is good.
There are neurotransmitters in your date’s brain that get activated when he or she experiences a thrill. Epinephrine, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, etc. These get people hyped. They get people happy. And because of that, they can be addictive.
#9 Always Smile At Strangers
You ever felt a little more positive whenever someone smiled at you? Simply smiling throughout your day improves your mood and can help you to grow your confidence. So try this on people.
Maintain three second eye contact with other people whilst smiling naturally, and 8 times out of 10, they would smile back (probably wondering if you know them). Other times, if you’re lucky they’ll greet and ask how you are because they truly believe they know you and probably forgot who you are.
This can also grow your confidence and improved you mood because people generally respond positively to a warm smile, it’s like they feed off your energy.
When you have a difficult time studying or remembering anything, what helps is taking yourself into a new environment. Whenever we’re located someone we’re not familiar with, our extra senses kick in and our brains are more alert to watch out for danger. And while you’re brain is on alert-mode, this will be the perfect opportunity for you to read something that you find difficult.
#11 People Who Value Their Time More Than Their Money Tend To Be Happier
There’s nothing wrong with working to obtain more money, but when you spend all your time and energy into extra a few extra bucks, you tend to lose the bigger picture in life. You’re always going to be in a position where you can make more money.
But you can never earn the time that you already lost. I feel like a hippy for saying this, but it’s a harsh fact that money isn’t going to make you happy despite how much you believe it. It’s the time you spend with family, friends, and yourself that matters the most.
When you’re close to death, you’re not going to think about all the money you earned. You’re going to think about all the people who love and cherish you in their life.
#12 Giving them a choice without giving them a choice
If you want someone to do something for you and you don’t want to give them a choice to do it or not, just give them a choice to do some of it or all of it.
This is a trick my girlfriend used to play on me. I don’t usually like to watch Disney movies that much but she LOVES them. So while choosing a movie, she usually likes to ask if I want to see THIS Disney movie or THAT Disney movie. Normally when I don’t have no idea what I want to watch, I’m stuck with her options and automatically choose the one that sounded most interesting.
#13 The Silent technique
Remaining silent doesn’t only work for dealing with angry people, it can be used in other factors of life too. Nothing is worse than a silent listener. People will go to any extent to break your silence while talking or negotiating, and sometimes they even give up their key point just to make you interested.
If you want a friend to open up about something, just ask him/her a question and if you feel like they just gave you half of the actual answer, maintain eye contact and stay silent. This technique also works in relationships. I’ve accidentally revealed several things to my girlfriend because she simply starred at me for too long.
#14 Chewing Gum
When you are about to do something that is going to make you nervous and you really want to get rid of those jitters, chew some gum. Sports people chew gum before and sometimes during the game!
This makes your brain think that it’s in a safe situation and there is certainly nothing to worry about because you are eating. So your brain will put you in a state of relaxation so that you can enjoy your food.
#15 Anxiety clean up
If you ever feel anxious about something and you’re not even sure why or if you are really anxious about anything, just go ahead and clean up your room or your work space. When your brain see everything around you is well organized, it convinces you that everything will be fine. This is why OCD people are so obsessed with hygiene.
#16 The selfish self image
Show that you are a little selfish. Believe me everyone is selfish and when they meet a fellow selfish person they will obviously find common things there by liking you.
Know where to stop though. You don’t want to end up creeping them out. Nobody trusts a person without a dark side. You want to make someone trust you!
Reveal a small amount of your dark side. A childhood tragedy or a relationship gone wrong anything. People will trust you more once you share the dark side that’s been bothering you.
#17 Worry is imagination wasted
The psychological state of “worry” is a major impediment to clear and successful thinking. Worry is a future-focused vision that the imagination can inflate into hopeless tragedy.
It is not worth the pain. If you are worried, your creative imagination is being put to lazy and valueless effort.
How do you stop worrying if it is a psychological habit? Good question. There must be a hundred good answers. But a good place to start at is to know the facts and take immediate action.
#18 Make Strong Eye Contact
Holding Eye contact with a stranger for longer than 7 seconds will make them feel uncomfortable. This is because only people that know each other maintain eye contact for longer, giving the stranger the feeling that you know them on a deeper level.
That being said, the longer the eye contact is between you and another person, the more affectionate you will grow towards one another. Try holding eye contact for 15 minutes with someone and you will be very likely to deepen your connection.
#19 You’re More Attractive Than You Give Yourself Credit For
Worried about that small mole on your face? Scared about a pimple on your forehead? Don’t worry too much about it because it’s not the end for you.
People don’t really bother for your flaws as much as you do. This means you’re usually 40% more attractive than you give yourself credit for.
#20 People remember how you make them feel, not your words
You can tell your loved ones the same mainstream lovey-dovey stuff. But, what sets it apart are the emotions with which you express your words.
No matter how boring or common the topic you’re talking about, make them feel it. This helps a great deal in public speaking, where the ultimate goal is to establish a connection with the audience.
#21 Mirror Someone If You Want Them To Like You
When you want to be liked by someone, try to mimic them. Individuals possessing these traits are always treated by society as chameleons, when it is noticeable how they constantly change and adjust to each new individual they meet. However, this skill can be a useful tool to attract the right people who interest you.
This principle is very common among comedians and masters of parody. All of the celebrities who have been parodied on TV screens are often good friends to these actors and comedians.
#22 Learn How to Nod When You Want Someone To Agree With You
Scientists discovered that when people nod while listening to someone, they most likely tend to agree with the speaker. They also found that when someone nods in front of someone speaking, the person who speaks, much like a parrot, will repeat the same words over and over again. Thereby, nodding provokes listener’s unconditional agreement.
It sounds a little bit rudimentary, but please don’t underestimate the power of this gesture. The explanation of the fact is very logical, as nodding your head is the ultimate sign for agreement and comprehension.
So, when you ask someone: “Don’t you think I’m right regarding this matter?”, double your question with your gesture and nod your head while asking. People are more likely to agree with you.
You can also use this trick if your friend is making a presentation and starts getting lost. Seeing someone in the audience that is nodding their head and smiling will help them to get back their courage.
#23 Always Act More Calmer Than Someone When They’re Arguing With You
This is similar to the remaining silent during an argument technique. When you argue with someone, always act much calmer than them. This can cause them to say something particularly irrational or something they shouldn’t have said and you will easily win the argument.
Just think about this, isn’t it ideal? You just sit there, keep calm and the other person will lose the argument without even realizing. Well, they will realize, but it will be too late.
If you don’t believe it, just think of a time you were arguing with someone that didn’t care about what you were saying and stood there in perfect calmness. Isn’t that annoying? Well, that behavior is irritating when someone is trying to make a point and will make them act irrational.
All that with no effort from your part.
#24 Notice the eye color when you first meet someone
If you struggle with shyness or looking people in the eyes, give yourself a purpose for doing it. This is textbook psychological trick. Every post about psychology mind tricks contains this. The explanation is really simple.
If you try to observe the person’s eye color you obviously are going to have to look into their eyes for a second or two. People tend to trust people who maintain eye contact.
It’s annoying when people only take without every considering giving in return. Whether it’s a friend always asking for a ride without giving gas money or someone always taking your food, it gets irritating when someone abuses your kindness.
Whenever you’re in a position to give someone something you don’t need anymore, don’t be afraid to give it to them. Although it may be of no use to you anymore, it can change someone else’s life.
Never be afraid to give something of little value to you to the appropriate person that you want to gain trust of. He/She will appreciate it and will be willing to help you even by going out of their way.
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